One week down, 39 more weeks to go. It's only the first week, and I already feel so overwhelmed by the amount of grading and the time it takes for just one class of 32 papers. Overwhelmed by the busy schedule--up every morning by 5. Overwhelmed by how far my kids will have to be academically stretched this year. Overwhelmed by how much I will be academically, emotionally, physically, and spiritually stretched this year.
Last week Sunday was not very restful as I was far too nervous about the first day and still trying to plan for the first week. This Sunday, I was determined to make the time to delight in the gift of Sabbath rest that God has provided for us. I am so thankful for technology that allows me to remain connected with my home church and its sermons, and as always, God knew exactly what I needed to hear on this Sunday afternoon.
In a conclusion of a sermon series on wisdom in Proverbs, my pastor preached from Proverbs 31:10-31, the well-known "excellent wife" passage, but with a twist on it as a celebration of wisdom as found throughout all of Proverbs. As shown in that passage, he said that wisdom involves knowing what is good and pursuing it. This requires motivation and determination, and as he said it, the woman of Proverbs 31 might be classified as a Type A personality, someone who is driven and motivated, pursuing the good of her family and community.
I would consider myself more of a Type A personality and very motivated professionally. I want to be the absolute best teacher I can be, to love my students the best, to do everything well, etc. However, motivations need to be examined and corrected where flawed. So often, I am driven by fear and a sense of inadequacy. I work hard to try to prove my value to myself and/or others. Already this week I have felt myself sinking into that mindset. Trying to be the best teacher because I need to be or else I don't know who I'll be or what I'll do. Because being the best is what I've always had to be, for no good reason other than that I just expect it of myself.
Although this fear factor is an effective motivator (at times), as my pastor said it ultimately harms us, sucking the joy out of life and not creating a life we want to celebrate. Already I've felt it sucking out the joy I can find in teaching. I'm becoming too preoccupied with myself and my to-do list that I'm forgetting that my students are people, children, with personalities and strengths and weaknesses. I'm forgetting that English is a second language that they are struggling to learn. I'm forgetting that they are made in God's image.
Rather than being motivated by the fear of my own inadequacy, I need to be driven by a fear of the Lord. A fear that recognizes God as the one who made and loves each of my students, who made and loves me regardless of how often I fail in or out of the classroom. I need to be driven by an awe of a Lord who sacrificed his only Son to redeem me to a new life of loving service to and through Him. Only then will I truly be able to love my students, to "open my mouth with wisdom" and with the "teaching of kindness" on my tongue (Proverbs 31:26).
I have been forgetting the "encouragement in Christ" the "comfort from love" the "participation in the Spirit" and the mind that is mine "in Christ Jesus, who though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant" (Phil. 2). That mind is mine in Christ, so that I am able to look not to my interests, but to others, and to consider them more significant than me. That is a glorious grace, for I am so unable in myself to do such a thing.
Only when I can rejoice in Christ's example and gift to me will I be able to teach in and with love. Only then will I be able to be overwhelmed by all the good things I have found here: the wonderful community of people I am living and working with, the relatively clean, bug-free home, the relaxing times with friends to sit and laugh over our week and watch a movie, the stunning beauty of my surroundings, a good night of sleep. Overwhelmed by the grace of the sanctification that will take place this year because God promises it and has given His Spirit to me for it. Overwhelmed by God's grace in my daily, crazy, wonderful, Honduran teaching life.
~Emily
Sunday, August 24, 2014
Sunday, August 17, 2014
First Day/Week/Year Jitters
I love Love, Teach, a fellow blogging teacher. Her first day letter to herself expresses everything that I'm feeling today as well as everything I need to hear again before I begin. Take a read, because I couldn't possibly express myself better than this:
Love, Teach: A Letter to Myself On My First Day of Teaching
And while you're at it, please pray for my first day tomorrow and for this first week especially, and that I'll always remember that it's not about me.
~Emily
Love, Teach: A Letter to Myself On My First Day of Teaching
And while you're at it, please pray for my first day tomorrow and for this first week especially, and that I'll always remember that it's not about me.
~Emily
Saturday, August 16, 2014
1 week, 2 cockroaches, multiple spiders and 32 students later...
It has been one crazy week! We finished moving into our apartments on Saturday and I did some serious deep cleaning--and by deep cleaning I mean soaking the perimeter of my place in Raid Bug Barrier to try to end the war on bugs before it began. This had the added benefit of making all the spiders come out of their little hiding places into the centers of rooms, where I could seek and destroy them. I also found one roach in the first day or two and managed to kill it and throw it away all by myself--however, as I'm the only one who's found a roach so far and so early I don't know if that bodes well for this apartment. And, as I was thinking of what I was going to write this morning, and feeling happy that I could only report one roach, I was rudely intruded on by another in the bathroom this morning. = P Not happy about that, but roach killers are up, I have more saved for later, and hopefully they won't be too big of a problem (crosses fingers).
Our apartment is pretty nice and it's starting to feel like home. I'll take pictures soon, but I've been waiting to put up more pics so it feels a little bit more homey. I love being able to live in the same complex as 4 other ALCS staff--we can talk to each other through the windows, have Harry Potter parties every night while we plan, and most of all one of the guys here--Christian-- has been incredibly helpful in cleaning up stuff for us, taking care of bugs, and getting our wifi set up (besides the Hondurans living with us, he's the only one fluent in Spanish). Also, Shannon Hopkins also fixed my shower so I could hot water. The showers here are a little sketch--there's wiring within the shower head that heats a coil that heats the water right before it comes out of the spout. The first night, a friend and I were messing with the water settings, and the whole shower head was sparking and lit up bright red--we thought it was going to explode! The fuse or something inside blew and so Shannon replaced that for me, as well as cleaned out the shower head so that the pressure was better.
Sunday was a great day--In Honduras, all churches are generally at night, but we got up early and went to a house church that Shannon and Kristi Hopkins help coordinate. They don't have so much of a worship service as it's a children's ministry, so generally we'll play with the kids there, teach them a Bible lesson, and have a craft and recreation time as well. After getting back to that, we went to the bigger market (there are two markets in town, but on Sundays there are a lot more vendors in the morning at the market only 5 min from our place) and bought some fruits and veggies. I got a bunch of avocadoes, some mini bananas, and some weird corn. My new bread and butter here will be eggs, avocadoes, and tortillas---I've eaten that at least once a day since Saturday (and for those of you who know I generally dislike eggs, they're filling and cheap). After some time to rest on Sunday, we went to a church in Gracias for their evening service. The rain was torrential, so between the rain and the mics the speakers used it was really hard to hear them, much less understand. I was able to understand a little bit of the sermon, and it helped a lot that the pastor used some emphatic examples--trying to pull a fake tree up and 'out of the ground' to demonstrate being rooted in Christ and "la Palabra de Dios," the Word of God.
The rest of the week has been preparing like crazy. This week, we were picked up by the bus at 7:05 to arrive at school by 8ish. I'm desperately trying to turn myself into a morning person, especially as once school starts on Monday, we get picked up at 6:10! Fortunately, it gets dark early here (around 6:45 or 7ish it's already dark) and light really early (4am ish? I haven't woken up yet to find out when exactly : P ) Our days have started with devotions and then we were free to decorate our classrooms and plan the curriculum. Unfortunately, we were given our curriculum in pieces and have been so busy trying to get everything decorated that not much planning has happened yet. Most people didn't get all their curriculum until yesterday (myself included) and we're still missing things.
On the classroom end of things, I'm really pleased with how it turned out (pictures coming soon). I'm trying to develop a good organizational system here but it's difficult when there are no such thing as hanging file folders (!) or other good storage units. That will be a struggle this year I believe, but I'm doing my best with what I have to work with. If anyone is going to send me a care package, please send like 20 hanging file folders, please!
On the teaching side of things, I feel so overwhelmed and nervous now, though still excited to begin. Coming here, I thought I had 28 students in 5th grade. This week, I've learned I have 32! One of the fourth graders from last year is not returning, so I have 5 new students. 2 of them are repeating 5th grade, 1 is coming from nivelacion, which is a 6? month intensive english language program ALCS does to try to prepare students to enter a bilingual school for the first time (so who knows what his English will be like), 1 came here with his sister who is a teacher here, and the last one I know nothing about. Needless to say, I'm really nervous about the class size in general and the impression I've received that there will be quite a few students who will struggle greatly either academically or behaviorally. On top of that, I have a pile of books and need to do some major planning and scope and sequencing today to try to prepare for this coming week at the very least.
In the good news, though, I got my personal schedule and I have an average of 3 45 minute prep periods per day. Here's my schedule day by day:
Please pray for me this weekend and in the coming week that planning will go well, I won't feel too stressed out but can work well yet, and that all the beginning of school stuff will go well. Pray that I'll be confident and consistent with the students from day one so they know they must obey the rules and procedures (otherwise this will be a loooooong year). Praise God that I have the planning periods, especially at the end of every day and that I'm surrounded by so many extraordinary, helpful people.
~Emily
Our apartment is pretty nice and it's starting to feel like home. I'll take pictures soon, but I've been waiting to put up more pics so it feels a little bit more homey. I love being able to live in the same complex as 4 other ALCS staff--we can talk to each other through the windows, have Harry Potter parties every night while we plan, and most of all one of the guys here--Christian-- has been incredibly helpful in cleaning up stuff for us, taking care of bugs, and getting our wifi set up (besides the Hondurans living with us, he's the only one fluent in Spanish). Also, Shannon Hopkins also fixed my shower so I could hot water. The showers here are a little sketch--there's wiring within the shower head that heats a coil that heats the water right before it comes out of the spout. The first night, a friend and I were messing with the water settings, and the whole shower head was sparking and lit up bright red--we thought it was going to explode! The fuse or something inside blew and so Shannon replaced that for me, as well as cleaned out the shower head so that the pressure was better.
Sunday was a great day--In Honduras, all churches are generally at night, but we got up early and went to a house church that Shannon and Kristi Hopkins help coordinate. They don't have so much of a worship service as it's a children's ministry, so generally we'll play with the kids there, teach them a Bible lesson, and have a craft and recreation time as well. After getting back to that, we went to the bigger market (there are two markets in town, but on Sundays there are a lot more vendors in the morning at the market only 5 min from our place) and bought some fruits and veggies. I got a bunch of avocadoes, some mini bananas, and some weird corn. My new bread and butter here will be eggs, avocadoes, and tortillas---I've eaten that at least once a day since Saturday (and for those of you who know I generally dislike eggs, they're filling and cheap). After some time to rest on Sunday, we went to a church in Gracias for their evening service. The rain was torrential, so between the rain and the mics the speakers used it was really hard to hear them, much less understand. I was able to understand a little bit of the sermon, and it helped a lot that the pastor used some emphatic examples--trying to pull a fake tree up and 'out of the ground' to demonstrate being rooted in Christ and "la Palabra de Dios," the Word of God.
The rest of the week has been preparing like crazy. This week, we were picked up by the bus at 7:05 to arrive at school by 8ish. I'm desperately trying to turn myself into a morning person, especially as once school starts on Monday, we get picked up at 6:10! Fortunately, it gets dark early here (around 6:45 or 7ish it's already dark) and light really early (4am ish? I haven't woken up yet to find out when exactly : P ) Our days have started with devotions and then we were free to decorate our classrooms and plan the curriculum. Unfortunately, we were given our curriculum in pieces and have been so busy trying to get everything decorated that not much planning has happened yet. Most people didn't get all their curriculum until yesterday (myself included) and we're still missing things.
On the classroom end of things, I'm really pleased with how it turned out (pictures coming soon). I'm trying to develop a good organizational system here but it's difficult when there are no such thing as hanging file folders (!) or other good storage units. That will be a struggle this year I believe, but I'm doing my best with what I have to work with. If anyone is going to send me a care package, please send like 20 hanging file folders, please!
On the teaching side of things, I feel so overwhelmed and nervous now, though still excited to begin. Coming here, I thought I had 28 students in 5th grade. This week, I've learned I have 32! One of the fourth graders from last year is not returning, so I have 5 new students. 2 of them are repeating 5th grade, 1 is coming from nivelacion, which is a 6? month intensive english language program ALCS does to try to prepare students to enter a bilingual school for the first time (so who knows what his English will be like), 1 came here with his sister who is a teacher here, and the last one I know nothing about. Needless to say, I'm really nervous about the class size in general and the impression I've received that there will be quite a few students who will struggle greatly either academically or behaviorally. On top of that, I have a pile of books and need to do some major planning and scope and sequencing today to try to prepare for this coming week at the very least.
In the good news, though, I got my personal schedule and I have an average of 3 45 minute prep periods per day. Here's my schedule day by day:
Hours/Day
|
Monday
|
Tuesday
|
Wednesday
|
Thursday
|
Friday
|
7:40-8:00
|
Devotions
|
Devotions
|
Devotions
|
Chapel
|
Devotions
|
8:00-8:45
|
7th Math
|
5th Math
|
Penmanship
|
||
8:45-9:30
|
|||||
9:30-9:50
|
Recess
|
Recess
|
Recess
|
Recess
|
Recess
|
9:50-10:35
|
5th Math
|
5th Math
|
5th Math
|
5th Math
|
|
10:35-11:20
|
Language
|
Language
|
Language
|
Language
|
Language
|
11:20-12:05
|
7th Math
|
7th Math
|
7th Math
|
7th Math
|
|
12:05-12:45
|
Lunch
|
Lunch
|
Lunch
|
Lunch
|
Lunch
|
12:45-1:30
|
Spelling
|
Spelling
|
Spelling
|
Spelling
|
Reading/Seatwork
|
1:30-2:15
|
Reading/Seatwork
|
Reading/Seatwork
|
Reading/Seatwork
|
Reading/Seatwork
|
|
2:15-3:00
|
Please pray for me this weekend and in the coming week that planning will go well, I won't feel too stressed out but can work well yet, and that all the beginning of school stuff will go well. Pray that I'll be confident and consistent with the students from day one so they know they must obey the rules and procedures (otherwise this will be a loooooong year). Praise God that I have the planning periods, especially at the end of every day and that I'm surrounded by so many extraordinary, helpful people.
~Emily
Thursday, August 7, 2014
Orientation: Things Come Together
Things are starting to come together and I'm feeling really content and confident. We've had two days of orientation at the school now with all the ALCS teachers. Yesterday was the first time we visited the campus and it is so so beautiful. The school is located outside of Gracias within Celaque National Park and is part of the way up Honduras' tallest mountain and only cloud forest.
a view of part of the campus from the courtyard...my classroom will be the one on the left in the center building
The first day of orientation on campus was a half day with a broad overview of a Christian philosophy of education as well as overviews of ALCS's history, expectations, and procedures. After orientation and for lunch, we went to a hotel that the school built which is a 5-10 minute walk from campus. They've built it in part to teach and train high school students in hospitality and tourism. The hotel is absolutely beautiful and we had a delicious lunch--a meat and potatoes meal, which I wasn't expecting now that I don't have Dutch mothers to cook for me ; P
After lunch, we did some exploring of the grounds around the hotel--hiking down to the creek below and through some of the surrounding fields.
After finishing our hike, we headed back to town and got some much needed time to relax.
After some rest time, the 8 of us needing housing in Gracias got to go apartment hunting! Mr. Lara and Mr. Calderon (our two principals) showed us several options around town. After some deliberation, it has been decided that 6 of us (everyone but the married couple) will be living in the same apartment complex among 3 different 1 bedroom apartments. The apartment complex is close to a lot of the shopping and restaurants in Gracias and only a 10 or 20 minute walk to some of the other teachers' houses. I'll be sharing an apartment with Sarah, a Honduran who just graduated from ALCS in La Union and will be working as a teacher's assistant in Gracias while taking classes at a local university to study architecture. Although I'm a bit nervous to room with someone I barely know, I am so excited about the opportunity to live with a native Honduran--this should be a good mix of a homestay (which I had originally wanted but decided it'd be better to have my own space) and a private apartment. Long story short, we found our place last night, moved some things in tonight, and will finish moving in tomorrow (though Sarah, who has been here the past two days for orientation, will be returning to La Union for the weekend and coming back on Monday). I am so thankful that we've already found a place and can move in so quickly--and thankful to all the Honduran men from the school and apartment complex who worked really hard to lift all our heavy suitcases and the furniture the school provides. I can't wait to get in there tomorrow and set everything up.
After all that, we had dinner with everyone at a really delicious pizza place, which makes my Chicago heart happy, and then a lucky few of us got to return to the hotel by the school to stay the night.
Our second day of orientation, today, we got into more of the nitty gritty details of teaching and classroom management at ALCS with English Language Learners (ELL's). Talking with other people, hearing more information, and being able to learn from the wisdom of experienced teachers makes me eager to get in the classroom and more confident that I can and will do this--even if it is a serious challenge at time. One thing we talked about a lot today is the need for us to be our students' teachers, not their friends. Starting the year off well is so important and I hope and pray that I can be consistent and firm, especially in the beginning to teach my students to respect my authority so that the we can have a good year of enjoyable learning in our classroom. I also found out my official teaching responsibilities (unless it changes again) today-- I will be responsible for 5th grade language arts (reading, spelling, vocab, penmanship, grammar), math, and art --which is the one I was not expecting and am a little intimidated by. I will also be teaching a 7th grade math class--and as a result will not be responsible for the 5th grade science class. I am so excited to teach a middle school math class. I knew before coming here that I may be expected to teach at a higher level, and if it would be anything I wanted it to be math. Thank the Lord that it's a class I like and feel confident in and not something like history. I'm also selfishly a little grateful not to be teaching science, but am a little concerned about how not teaching that now may affect me professionally. One year at a time though...and once school starts I'll be making it through one day at a time!
Thank you so much to everyone who has been praying for me so far this week. I have felt so at peace so far with everything and I know that is by God's grace.
A few more pictures....
 |
| a view of Mt. Celaque from the school...soccer fields are right behind those trees |
 |
 |
| another view of the courtyard |
After lunch, we did some exploring of the grounds around the hotel--hiking down to the creek below and through some of the surrounding fields.
 |
| The hotel's rooms and dining area from the courtyard |
 |
| Casa Hotel Celaque |
 |
| A view from the balcony looking down toward the creek we hiked down |
 |
| Balcony |
After finishing our hike, we headed back to town and got some much needed time to relax.
 |
| possibly my favorite thing about Honduras so far... |
After some rest time, the 8 of us needing housing in Gracias got to go apartment hunting! Mr. Lara and Mr. Calderon (our two principals) showed us several options around town. After some deliberation, it has been decided that 6 of us (everyone but the married couple) will be living in the same apartment complex among 3 different 1 bedroom apartments. The apartment complex is close to a lot of the shopping and restaurants in Gracias and only a 10 or 20 minute walk to some of the other teachers' houses. I'll be sharing an apartment with Sarah, a Honduran who just graduated from ALCS in La Union and will be working as a teacher's assistant in Gracias while taking classes at a local university to study architecture. Although I'm a bit nervous to room with someone I barely know, I am so excited about the opportunity to live with a native Honduran--this should be a good mix of a homestay (which I had originally wanted but decided it'd be better to have my own space) and a private apartment. Long story short, we found our place last night, moved some things in tonight, and will finish moving in tomorrow (though Sarah, who has been here the past two days for orientation, will be returning to La Union for the weekend and coming back on Monday). I am so thankful that we've already found a place and can move in so quickly--and thankful to all the Honduran men from the school and apartment complex who worked really hard to lift all our heavy suitcases and the furniture the school provides. I can't wait to get in there tomorrow and set everything up.
After all that, we had dinner with everyone at a really delicious pizza place, which makes my Chicago heart happy, and then a lucky few of us got to return to the hotel by the school to stay the night.
Our second day of orientation, today, we got into more of the nitty gritty details of teaching and classroom management at ALCS with English Language Learners (ELL's). Talking with other people, hearing more information, and being able to learn from the wisdom of experienced teachers makes me eager to get in the classroom and more confident that I can and will do this--even if it is a serious challenge at time. One thing we talked about a lot today is the need for us to be our students' teachers, not their friends. Starting the year off well is so important and I hope and pray that I can be consistent and firm, especially in the beginning to teach my students to respect my authority so that the we can have a good year of enjoyable learning in our classroom. I also found out my official teaching responsibilities (unless it changes again) today-- I will be responsible for 5th grade language arts (reading, spelling, vocab, penmanship, grammar), math, and art --which is the one I was not expecting and am a little intimidated by. I will also be teaching a 7th grade math class--and as a result will not be responsible for the 5th grade science class. I am so excited to teach a middle school math class. I knew before coming here that I may be expected to teach at a higher level, and if it would be anything I wanted it to be math. Thank the Lord that it's a class I like and feel confident in and not something like history. I'm also selfishly a little grateful not to be teaching science, but am a little concerned about how not teaching that now may affect me professionally. One year at a time though...and once school starts I'll be making it through one day at a time!
Thank you so much to everyone who has been praying for me so far this week. I have felt so at peace so far with everything and I know that is by God's grace.
A few more pictures....
 |
| A view of Gracias from the patio at the hotel |
 |
| Giant grasshoppers-- these I find kinda fascinating and they're really cool when flying because their wings are red underneath...however, I will admit when one unexpected landed on me I freaked out a little |
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
First Full Day
After a good night of sleep (even if interrupted occasionally by crowing roosters at random times), I feel much better! Today will probably be the most relaxed day of orientation--we had a later start so we could sleep in if necessary. After breakfast, I've spent the day getting a cell phone, walking around town, meeting and hanging out with the Hopkins family (a missionary family associated with the school), and relaxing (aka sitting in the hotel and catching up with stuff on the Internet). Tonight we'll be going to the hot springs in Gracias (: Tomorrow, we go to the school for the first time for some kind of orientation--can't wait to see the campus and maybe get in my classroom!
Here are a few pictures of the packing as well as a few from Gracias!
Here are a few pictures of the packing as well as a few from Gracias!
 |
| one set of sheets, a small pillow, a blanket, and my normal pillow...pre vacuuming |
 |
| yes, people, space bags really work! unfortunately, it doesn't defy the laws of nature and lessen the total weight-- learned that the hard way in my struggle to pack but keep the weight under 50 lbs. |
 |
| a view of the hotel we're staying in currently-- a beautiful place with lots of green places, hammocks, and beautiful views! |
 |
| While exploring Gracias, took a walk down here (crossing that slightly shaky bridge) to sit with our feet in the water (and let minnows nibble my toes!). A peaceful and beautiful spot that will be a favorite place to come to I think! |
Monday, August 4, 2014
I'm here!
Thank you to everyone who prayed for safe travels! Everyone who was coming in today made it, and I believe with all their baggage. We arrived in San Pedro this morning, and got settled into the hotel by 7ish. The drive to Gracias was beautiful and I've already met one of my students. Feeling a bit overwhelmed, especially in the Spanish speaking department, but excited to be here and begin learning. I'll update more later...now, it's time to sleep!
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