(in)Decision

3 weeks into the new year already. Days may go by slowly, but the weeks are going fast, and the weekends are a blur.

The students and teachers have finally readjusted (for the most part) back into the school schedule, thankfully. I've been introducing lots of new things in my classroom--new management tools, new reading stuff, new journaling things, etc. It's all had its ups and downs but I feel like it's been good for me and for the students. Hopefully as the students learn these new things it will only get better.

This is a quick post to ask for prayer for me and my fellow teachers. Coming back after Christmas has been very difficult and discouraging for many of us-- a cross of homesickness and a feeling of ineffective helplessness at times as a teacher.

On top of that, the school will begin recruiting teachers for next year in 3 short weeks, and they're asking the North American teachers for their decisions about next year before they leave for the States on Feb. 12. It's been a main topic of conversation among us teachers, and many of us are feeling very conflicted.

Personally, I'm very torn as to what I should or want to do. I don't feel like I win whichever choice I make. I lose if I leave the school, and I lose if I stay. Every day my emotions are different--hovering one day on "There's no way I could not do this a second year" and the next day crying in the school bathroom because I don't know if I can take another 45 minutes, much less a whole year.

The next three weeks will be tough, for me and many others. Besides the looming decision to be made, the partial ends this Friday, we have Recuperacion tests for failed students the first week of February, and parent teacher conferences on February 13.

Please be in prayer the next three weeks for me and the teachers in Gracias as well as the other ALCS schools, that God will grant us wisdom as we seek His will and our desires for next year, and then peace of mind and heart when the decision is made.

In the meantime, puppies, prayer, and continued reflection on the promises in Scripture will be getting me through.

In which I give dating advice to fifth grade boys...

Recent classroom events made me think of the movie "He's Just Not That Into You" --

watch the first minute (only) of this clip if you so desire.....

Seriously. Fifth grade boys have the craziest ways of showing that they like a girl.

A month or so ago, I caught a boy and a girl passing a note, in which they were arguing back and forth over who was uglier, the girl passing the note or another girl in the class. The girl was arguing that she was uglier, the boy was arguing against that. I talked to each of them separately, and during that time the boy admitted that he liked this girl, so he wanted to call the other girl ugly to make his crush feel special. We had a nice little chat over why that isn't correct, and how something like that would not be an admirable quality in a possible crush.

Just the other day, the same girl (rather the popular one among the boys, it seems) came to me first thing in the morning because there was clay smeared over her desk and seat. I was able to catch the little perpetrator, and proceeded with interrogation. First off, I was so proud and so happy I wanted to cry, because after a brief minute of denial, the boy confessed and told me the truth--which is very impressive! So that was awesome. When I asked him why he would do such a thing, he wouldn't look at me or talk, he just stared stubbornly at the ground. After a good minute or two of no response, I asked him if maybe he had done it because he liked this girl. Arms still crossed, still studying the ground, he muttered "maybe a little."

me: "ok, so you do like _________ and that's why...."

 I was interrupted very quickly with a stubborn:

student: "yes, but just a little. just a little"

We then talked about how that might have made the girl feel, and I asked him what good things he could do if he liked her. He responded with "help her," and we expounded upon that a little more before I sent him off hopefully a wiser little ladies' man.

Teacher: curriculum planner and executor, parent, policeman. Now we can add matchmaker to the mix.

You Know You're Back in Honduras When...

So, I was going to do a nice, thoughtful, reflective post on end of the year/semester, Christmas break, and beginning of the year, etc etc. But I just don't feel like doing that right now, though I may do it later.

Anyways, the important thing is I survived my 27 hour adventure/nightmare of traveling back to Gracias--from Chicago, to a nice long stay in Houston, to San Pedro, to a taxi, to a bus, to another bus, and finally home (where I found two dead cockroaches and quite a bit of dust and other dead bugs as well)--Happy New Year! In a side note, Hondurans do love their fireworks, so the NYE show was quite fantastic.

You know you're back in Honduras when....

(in the order of which it hit me upon getting home)

1. ...the concept of an orderly line is lost...

Ok, so this was before I even left the States, but occurred to me in Houston as we tried to line up to board our flight to San Pedro.  A majority of the passengers were Honduran, and something that is culturally not normal here but very accepted in the States is the concept of a line. Seriously, Hondurans can and will just push their way through at times, something that could be considered very rude, but here is normal. I'll admit it still gets on my nerves though. Anyways, it made the whole line up by boarding group quite interesting as Hondurans jumped in their lines at any place or time, and various Americans tried to find the end of the line and wait patiently or not so patiently (I was reminded of the cultural difference by two North Americans complaining very loudly about it).

2. ...you are packed into a bus like cattle...

Seriously, I mean packed. My first bus from San Pedro headed for Gracias wasn't as bad--I had a seat and was squished, but not unmanageably so. However, about 3-4 hours into the trip, for reasons unknown to me, we stopped and everyone on our bus was herded onto a new bus. A new bus that was already quite full. As seats were already full, people were packed into the aisle from the back of the bus to literally out of the bus. There were 3 people hanging on out the door. I was in a quite uncomfortable standing-spooning Honduran sandwich for a while--a woman in front of me, me breathing down her neck, and a man behind me breathing down my neck. The whole thing was ridiculously comical, definitely illegal somewhere, and awkwardly uncomfortable. I wanted to pull out my camera and take a picture or two, but there was no room for me to attempt to retrieve my camera.

our bus probably looked a little bit like this from the outside

3. ...you have those awkward conversations again...

where people laugh at your for your lack of Spanish while you do your best to nod and smile  and move on. Now that my already weak Spanish skills got rusty over break, this has happened more times than I care to admit in my short time back here.

4. ...you take a cold shower...

One of the best things about Christmas break-- hot, clean showers. They were amazing, and I couldn't even believe how much cleaner and nicer my hair felt after washing it just once in our water. Now I'm back to cold showers and I'm dreading washing my hair here-- I want to keep this soft "American" hair as long as possible before Honduran-Hermione hair takes over once again for the next six months. 

what my hair looks and feels like in Honduras

5. ...you take a cold shower with a possible cockroach wing floating around you...

yep. I don't know where the rest of it was, but I'm 99% sure it was a cockroach wing. I kept stepping around to avoid it as it floated toward me.

Cockroaches:
Always when you're not wearing shoes,
they will be waiting for you

6. ...it is impossible to avoid catcalls...

If there is one thing I hate about the culture here, it is the catcalling. As a white woman, the hissing, whistling, hey baby's, and who-knows-whats in Spanish are seemingly unavoidable. Over Christmas, I was first doing what I do here--looking forward, crossing the street/aisle, keeping my head down, and wincing internally approaching any man in the store/street. Then I remembered it's not as prevalent in small-town Illinois as it is here. It was a relief to be away from it for a while, but for now while here, I'm back to my usual routine in regard to the catcalls: 

7. ...the coffee is delicious and cheap...

I made it to one coffee shop while in the States--one in the Houston airport. And yes, my fancy-pants salted caramel mocha was tasty, especially after 8 hours of wandering around the airport/trying to sleep, but it was stinking expensive! Now I'm back to enjoying good, cheap Honduran coffee-- I'm currently sipping my $1 cappuccino at the cafe. 

8. ...you feel cold in mid-70 degrees weather...

Why yes. I may just be writing this to rub it in to all you Northerners dealing with freezing temps. But unfortunately this is true...between living in California and now here, I have fully acclimatized to feel cold in what is actually really nice weather. 

9. ...you see green mountains, blue skies, and fresh fruit again...

*cue Hallelujah chorus* The winter in the midwest is just plain depressing (at least without snow). It's good to be surrounded with living beauty again. 

Happy New Year to everyone!