In which I give dating advice to fifth grade boys...

Recent classroom events made me think of the movie "He's Just Not That Into You" --

watch the first minute (only) of this clip if you so desire.....

Seriously. Fifth grade boys have the craziest ways of showing that they like a girl.

A month or so ago, I caught a boy and a girl passing a note, in which they were arguing back and forth over who was uglier, the girl passing the note or another girl in the class. The girl was arguing that she was uglier, the boy was arguing against that. I talked to each of them separately, and during that time the boy admitted that he liked this girl, so he wanted to call the other girl ugly to make his crush feel special. We had a nice little chat over why that isn't correct, and how something like that would not be an admirable quality in a possible crush.

Just the other day, the same girl (rather the popular one among the boys, it seems) came to me first thing in the morning because there was clay smeared over her desk and seat. I was able to catch the little perpetrator, and proceeded with interrogation. First off, I was so proud and so happy I wanted to cry, because after a brief minute of denial, the boy confessed and told me the truth--which is very impressive! So that was awesome. When I asked him why he would do such a thing, he wouldn't look at me or talk, he just stared stubbornly at the ground. After a good minute or two of no response, I asked him if maybe he had done it because he liked this girl. Arms still crossed, still studying the ground, he muttered "maybe a little."

me: "ok, so you do like _________ and that's why...."

 I was interrupted very quickly with a stubborn:

student: "yes, but just a little. just a little"

We then talked about how that might have made the girl feel, and I asked him what good things he could do if he liked her. He responded with "help her," and we expounded upon that a little more before I sent him off hopefully a wiser little ladies' man.

Teacher: curriculum planner and executor, parent, policeman. Now we can add matchmaker to the mix.